How to Make a Hamster Cage With Household Items?

How to make a hamster cage with household items?

To give a better life for your hamsters, one of the most essential factors that you have to be considered is hamster cages. The affordable cages for hamsters are surely a bonus to your shopping experience. Usually, the hamster cages can be quite expensive. Also, it is quite tough for the hamster owner who is living on a budget. Due to this, it can be beneficial to find the effective way of using the household items to make a top quality hamster cage. Let try best hamster cage here by own:

Well, it is very easy to build that it only needs a few supplies as well as a tiny moment of your time. All you need to have is a storage bin, wire mesh, a water bottle, wire, nuts/bolts/washer and a wheel to get started. Once you gather all those materials, it is the time to begin outlining the step by step procedures of making your own hamster cage. You should keep reading for the full instructions given below:

Hamster cage: Get your complete materials and tools collected

 

Before you get into the actual step by step process, it is always more important to go through the essential tools you will require. By performing so, you can make sure that you are well prepared for this cost effective as well as rewarding experience.

Materials you require

Materials you require

 

As already mentioned, the materials you will require are material that you majorly discover around a house. However, each one of these materials has a particular purpose that you will want to understand for this project to be prosperous.

Storage bin

It must be a clear bin, which is minimum 20×30 inches. This is a least calculation for the comfy living surrounding for single hamster or couple of dwarf hamsters. Hence, bigger is good.

A plastic wheel

The plastic wheel is required around eleven or twelve inches for single hamster and 8 or 8.5 inches for the dwarf hamster.

Wire mesh

19 or 23 gauge roll must be sufficient to make the windows of a cage.

Wire

The length of a foot must be sufficient to safe the water bottle within a cage.

A pet water bottle

It is a highly recommended one. Also, it is simply one of the greatest choices on the market.

Washers, bolts and nuts

Around 16 of each must perform this trick. This will support quickly the mesh to a lid that will make windows.

Therefore, each of these materials does have a noteworthy determination in making a top quality bin cage. So, you should ensure that you have them completely, before moving on with your project.

Tools

Hamster cage: Get your complete materials and tools

At present, there are many items available on this list that you may not have within home. If this is a situation, you do not fret. Moreover, the prices of the following tools will be quite lesser than the excessively luxurious hamster cages available at the pet shops.

Drill and bits

11/64 sized drill bit must be a satisfactory one that is sufficient to make both water bottle spout hole and ventilation holes.

Wire cutter

You will require the one to cut the wire mesh.

A sharpie or permanent market

This tool will be highly used to grab your windows to assist monitor your cutting.

Some kind of utility saw or knife

Based on the material of a storage bin, you will want either a utility saw or knife to cut over it.

With these complete materials and tools ready for use, you should onto the actual step by step instructions for making this hamster cage with your household items. Honestly, obtaining all these materials or tools can be a quite daunting task. Once you obtain all those tools, the rest of process is very easy that the hamster can perform it.

Hamster cage- A step by step procedure

Hamster cage- A step by step procedure

  • Ready to take off a lid
  • Cutting the mesh to fit the windows
  • Secure the windows
  • Make the ventilation holes
  • Add in a pet water bottle
  • Put in a décor

If you are looking for the ways to make hamster cage with household items, let try best hamster cage here by following above steps and attempt to make out with these items. Therefore, these items will enables you to have a freedom to personalize your hamster cage more efficiently. If you want the cheap cages for hamsters, now you can get all materials on the internet at discount rates.

How to Build a Rabbit Hutch Out of Pallets?

How to build a rabbit hutch out of pallets?

If you wish to grow some specific types of pets, then you need some hutches or cages for your pets and also its stability need to be assured. The secret for no-cost pet cages is a recycling of the pallets and it will be interesting while building a cage. Initially, a strong looking pallet have been bordered up to install the table like foundation, which would make a rabbit house preeminent, so hazard for predator attacks will be minimized. However, using pallets as well as other domesticated wood and an extensive wooden house has been installed, which comes with a chevron roof and two built-in boxes as you can view. You can also make sure that the roof has been made with waterproof by using an overlap cover, which also highlights the roof. At last, this benny home has been included with a handle lock.

Shopping the perfect rabbit hutches for your pet

Shopping the perfect rabbit hutches for your pet

In general, you can easily let your rabbit in your house during the day or in a hedged in the lawn, but it is going to require a secure place to sleep at night. Actually, rabbits are prey to wild animals and they want a great outdoor hutch in order to keep them away from the hazardous predators. A rabbit hutch is a kind of cage that you can utilize to house your entire pet rabbits. Normally, they are made up of wood and wire and also even some of the bigger hutches can grasp four or five animals and also having the pet rabbits is somewhat that the entire family can enjoy. Although, many outdoor rabbit hutches will have an enclosed segment and a portion that is open to the air. This covered part is normally made of plywood or another kind of wood, while the exposed zone is made of wire net.

Guide to make a rabbit hutch quickly

Guide to make a rabbit hutch quickly

If you are searching for the instruction manuals or helpful ideas for building a rabbit hutch, here are some useful tips and steps for making a wonderful rabbit hutch that include:

  • Rabbit hutches are made as a replacement of natural atmosphere for the house bred bunnies. They have to be very cozy and comfortable apart from being a big sufficient for accommodating a count of rabbits and it must also safeguard them from harsh climates, if kept outside.
  • By determining from the rabbits count, a strategy has to be outlined for a hutch with sufficient space for them. The measurements of hutch and materials required for a project has to be estimated.
  • Using galvanized wire mesh or treated wood pieces have to be considered, instead of using plywood as unprocessed wooden materials that absorb urine and water. It will affect the hygiene of atmosphere and it might be a cause of dissemination diseases.
  • When the entire needed materials have been collected, you can begin a project with a frame of the hutch. The fundamental part and one of the side pieces have to be safe composed for creating an L shape and they have to be pinned together.
  • The same step has to be repeated for other three sides. It is hypothetical to appear like a mesh wire window has wooden side panels. The door has to be linked to the anterior of a main frame and then bolt can be fixed.

Points to consider before you start building a rabbit hutch

Points to consider before you start building a rabbit hutch

Definitely, a rabbit hutch can be a lot simpler than you ever anticipated. You may think that, it will be daunting, but if you follow some easy guidelines and any fundamental woodworker can handle it simply great.

  • Customize a hutch for your space and yard
  • Have peace of mind to know perfectly how your hutch was built
  • Begin with a great set of plans
  • Make sure that the hutch plans are a perfect size to enable your rabbits to move freely
  • Have an enough space to allow an area for bedding
  • Make the best plans to keep your rabbits safeguarded from both predators and all kinds of weather situations
  • Necessity to select the best spot and place for your rabbit hutch
  • Choose the right rabbit hutch plan that assures the rabbits will be safe, free to exercise and have a sufficient space

MY JOURNEY

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Are you here because you’ve recently experienced loss of some sort?  Does it feel like something is missing? Chances are, the hole in your heart is connected not just this loss, but to other disappointments in the past.

Below is my story. I humbly share this with you as a way of connecting the dots and in showing how I healed, you can too.

My first memory of loss, age 7.

When I was seven, our family moved to San Francisco from Hong Kong. My parents told me we were going on “vacation”. I never got to say goodbye to friends, family.

Growing up the black sheep in a strict Asian household where it was better if you were seen and not heard was not easy. Emotions were discouraged.  Physical punishment and verbal abuse delivered “for our own good”. My father yelled. My mother used prescription drugs to medicate her pain. As the youngest, I became the container of my mother’s unhappiness. Her mantra was “In the end, you will end up alone.”

I got a 4.3 in high school. College was my ticket out until I was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. I returned home after one semester of college freedom. I beat the 80% odds but found myself without a roadmap of how to be cancer free and happy. I spent the next few decades living a goal-oriented life. I made six-figures in the corporate world, life looked great on paper, but inside, I felt EMPTY. I was sinking.

Searching to fill the void, I got married. Our marriage looked great on paper too; a house, a dog, a white picket fence. We survived 9/11 but got lost in the grief of a mother’s death. A few months later, my dog Sophie died unexpectedly.

Sophie was the catalyst that made me look at all of my losses.

Sophie was more than a mere companion, she was my confidant, friend, family. She was my first experience with unconditional love. Grieving deeply, I walked away from it all. My parents and friends thought I was CRAZY. Grieving, I created a company called Luxepets, to celebrate the bond between people and pets and later, to heal from the loss of a pet.

Internally, I began on a spiritual quest to find my way back to happiness.

A voice kept saying, “Do your grieving, heal, teach.” I answered the call, receiving training in several highly effective therapies and completed a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology.

In doing all of this work, I felt freedom and possibilities for the first time in my life. I had finally released and let go of decades of loss. I finally had a grasp of how to be happy.

“Technique is what you use until the therapist arrives. Good methods can help a therapist find a way into the client’s dilemma, but good therapy does not begin until the real-life therapist joins with the real life of the client.” ~Parker Palmer

My personal loss experiences helps me connect with my clients on a deep authentic level, beyond what is taught from textbooks.  It has given me gifts in many ways. In letting go of my “loss” stories and giving birth to new ways of being,  it has freed me to step up and help others.

In 2007, after being told I should have saved my eggs from having had cancer, I overcame infertility to conceive naturally.

The same week I found out I was pregnant, my mother committed suicide. 9 months later, my daughter began having life threatening seizures. A year later, a turbulent marriage came to completion.

I could have judged myself as a failure.

I spoke to my mother only a few days before her death. The autopsy report revealed a handful of pills and alcohol.  Why didn’t I see the warning signs?

Instead, I forgave my mother, a broken marriage, and most importantly, myself.

I put aside all of the stories I had made up about being unworthy, broken, a failure.  I used the tools I teach to re-build my life.

Today, I assist others in healing and looking at possibilities after loss. I blend my intuition with practical coaching tools to help you get out of your way so that you can move towards the light and fly.  

Will you join me in looking at what possibilities are in front of you?

How walking my own camino changed my life

Last night, I saw a post on FB about walking the Camino. The Camino de Santiago is a 500 mile path that starts over the border of Spain and continues into 4 of Spain’s 15 regions. According to the Catholic tradition, completing this trek forgives one’s sins. Since then, millions of lives have been forever changed by this journey, and various movies and documentaries have been made about this magical trek.

I feel like I’ve been walking my own Camino de Santiago the past six months. Today’s post is about love and loss. And how trekking through my internal mind helped heal decades old patterns for the very last time.

Last Thanksgiving, the love of my life relapsed in his recovery.

I remember the day we fell madly in love.
The day he married, he pledged his sobriety to me.
Our love for each other always had been a constant through the ups and downs. When things came undone, I turned to our love to conquer all.
Except it couldn’t.

My ego said I didn’t like who he had become.
The truth was, I didn’t like the person I was becoming.
I became irritated, frustrated and tried to “fix”.
We fought all the time.
The energy in our home felt dense.
The more I “tried” the more I failed.
There was no way to win this race.

I could point the finger at him. 
But really, I realize this was about ME.

I grew up with addiction in my family.
My mother was my qualifier.
I was the youngest.
Taking in her pains, her hurts.
I became the champion fixer, enabler.
My mother’s needs came first, to keep calm in the family.
My bar for chaos raised high.

It comes as no surprise that I would be continually tested.
Until I chose me.
He said he would stop for me.
For us. I said yes. Yes. Yes. Until no.
The biggest gift I could give to him,
To me, To us,
was to come undone,
So we could work on ourselves,
and perhaps have a chance to come together one day down the line.

On Mother’s day, he moved out. I would lie if I said there are days it doesn’t hurt like crazy. Afterall, it is much easier to break up with someone you hate.

But without sounding corny, this saying comes forward. “If you love someone, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it continues to fly, let it soar, and have faith that God has something better in store. ”

Below are six tools that have helped me tremendously these past weeks.

6 ways to empower yourself during a challenge or crisis. (My inner version of walking to Santiago)

  1. How to stop thinking bad thoughts about yourself or someone else. When we do this, it’s usually our ego talking, defending our position. It goes nowhere fast. Only in circles until we spin that thought into a story. And our energy spirals down into negativity. When negative chatter like “I should have known” comes up for me. I tell myself “God bless me.” (you can create any affirmation that is neutral or your own version of a blessing) Then I take 3 cleansing breaths, get up and go get a drink of water or something for a few minutes that will short circuit that thought. By moving around, moving energy, it helps brings our vibration back up to a higher level.
  2. Keep the focus on you. When things are going awry, it is much easier to point the finger at what is going wrong outwardly. Try instead to bring it inward, back to you. If someone is “making” your life miserable, what are action steps you can do to bring relief into this situation, vs. wishing that someone would change. There’s a saying that whatever is triggering you about someone is an aspect you don’t like about yourself. Turn inward. Get quiet. Empower yourself to take one step towards back to balance.
  3. It’s not always about you. Ha ha. Whatever that’s bugging you, that someone or that something that has happened is probably not intentional. And even if it is, chances are, it is not personal. Somehow, our ego has a way of turning things around so that things are happening TO US. My partner did not do any of this to hurt me intentionally. He is an amazing person.
  4. Where would you be without that thought? I have been re-reading a lot of Byron Katie and “The Work.” When my panties get all bunched up, I ask myself, where would I be without that thought. Because usually, that thought is not based in reality. It is something I am telling myself to protect myself, or justify what’s happening, or feel safe.
  5. Stop pushing. Whatever we are resisting will most likely persist because we are giving energy to it. When we say what we don’t want. “I’m sick of not making enough to pay the bills, why does life have to be so hard, life would be so different if he stopped doing….” we are affirming the NOT vs. the desire. Reframe whatever it is you are lacking into an affirming statement. You can accept where you are right now. You may not like where you are in life. But at this very moment, it is your reality. Since we cannot change this very moment, why not try feeling into what it is you want?
  6. Ask for help. Vulnerability is not weak. I am not one to usually ask for help, but sharing my truth and asking for prayers, comforting thoughts, support, a hug, just knowing someone is on my side has helped keep me buoyant. Also, you never know how revealing your vulnerability gives someone strength to take action on something they may have been afraid to do.

These past 6 weeks has allowed me to get to this place, internally, externally, literally, where life seems to be opening up.  And it seems crazy to say, not knowing where I am headed, or what I am supposed to do is EXACTLY where I feel like I am supposed to be at this very moment.

In this seeming crisis, I’ve found inner peace. Instead of blaming, there is love.  And each day, there is more clarity, as I allow life to unwrap itself vs. making “it” happen.
My “it” is… me. Taking care of me first.

Please share this post with any souls who are in recovery, their family and loved ones around them.  Or anyone struggling with addiction. It is a family disease. We are all affected.

I would love to hear any versions of your own “aha’s” or walkabouts you’ve had below.

PET LOVE SUPPORT

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Hello there! You may have noticed the word LOVE not LOSS. No, it’s not a spelling error. It is my fondest wish that LOVE is the bottom line for all of the woes that may have brought you here. As an intuitive coach, I serve as a “human bridge” between you and your pet. With 110% of my heart, I bring intuition, acknowledgment, validation, compassion and a practical perspective to fill the aching hole in your heart.

Together, we collaborate to clarify the relationship you have with your pet, and suggest ways  to deepen your bond, both physically and emotionally during these challenging times.

If your pet is sick, it is my hearts desire that through our work together, you will shift from feeling helpless to a perspective of learning, honoring and strengthening and empowerment. Sometimes, we get caught up in the potential loss that we miss the precious moments in front of us.

If you are close to having to make a life-changing decision about your pet’s health, this can change the end of life/euthanasia experience so that it is more peaceful and honoring of the good-bye.

If you’ve said good-bye to your pet, here is an opportunity for you to show up for YOU as much as you have for him. Our pets are our greatest teachers. They are here to heal from our darkness.

Here’s a few ways to connect:

Single Pet Love Support Coaching Session (This is perfect if you would like support with a specific concern about your pet)

-(1) 60 minute session via phone or Skype (includes a 20 minute reading with your pet)
-Summarized notes
-Recording of session
-Accountability and support
-Creation of a collaborative plan for what’s next after the session

INVESTMENT $175.00

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Healing Heart Pet Love Coaching Support 1-3 months

This is a good option if your pet has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, or you’ve recently experienced a loss. 

-(4) 75 minute session  per month via phone or Skype
-Summarized notes of session
-Recording of each session
-Accountability and support between sessions
-Creation of a collaborative plan for our journey together

By invitation only, call 310-314-9837 to see if we are a good fit.

FROM LOSS TO POSSIBILITY COACHING

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“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.” ~Kahlil Gibran

FOR THOSE READY FOR CHANGE

You’ve been out at sea for a long time on a boat called “Loss and Life’s Disappointments.”

It’s a lonely in a boat out to sea.

You are ready to get out but you don’t know how.

I can help you figure out how to jump.

JUMP.

Let me help you:

Find more balance in your life by putting yourself first

Find out what made grieving such a big part of your life

Live your purpose and vision

There’s a saying that where groups of 2 or more are gathered, miracles happen!!

IMAGINE:

-Having a space to transform, be held, listened to and supported

-Giving yourself permission to let the past go and have tools to do so

-Expand/grow/build a life that makes your heart sing!

-Shift the way you show up in the world, with yourself, your family and friends

SAY YES TO YOU!christine

apryl

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OPTION #1: Single Possibility Coaching Session

(This is perfect if you would like some immediate support with a specific concern)

-(1) 60 minute session via phone or Skype

-Recording of session

-Recommended exercises to help you begin to address the blocks

-Creation of a collaborative plan for what’s next

INVESTMENT: $175.00

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OPTION 2: Possibility Coaching Starter Package  4-6 weeks 

-(4) 75 minute weekly session, weekly or bi-weekly  via phone or Skype

-Customized summary and recording of each session

-Recommended exercises and tools

(By Invitation Only, please call 310.314.9837 to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session to see if we are a good fit!)

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OPTION #3:  3 Month Journey to More Possibilities!

-(12) 75 minute weekly session via phone or Skype

-Customized summary and recording of each session

-Recommended exercises and tools

(By Invitation Only, please call 310.314.9837 to schedule a complimentary 30 minute session to see if we are a good fit!)

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Modern Pet Loss

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Introducing Moden Pet Loss: A digital e-course illuminating love and healing to grieving pet owners in the privacy of their own home.

When loss is experienced, often people retreat and need space to heal.  Getting in a car to visit a therapist can be a difficult task in the initial phase of healing.

With this innovative, and customizable grieving e-course, relief can be found in the comfort of one’s home at a pace that is appropriate for each user.

In attempt to help create a new habit, a support email is sent for 28 consecutive days.  In these emails you will find daily affirmations to set the tone for the day.  There is a daily topic to guide each person through the recovery process.  Having something to look forward to will assist in changing the person’s perspective.

Although it is great to read uplifting messages it is also important to take proper action to invoke change in our lives therefore we established an inspired action prompt as part of the curriculum.

Often during the healing process people enjoy taking walks or taking long drives, the included audio recordings allow people to tune in during these moments.  With a lifetime access the user can always go back to the material when they feel they are triggered and may be regressing.  Since grief usually ebbs and flows, having access to the tools could be very beneficial during the lifelong process of letting go and finding acceptance.

To find out more information, please visit: http://www.modernpetloss.com

If you are a veterinary clinic, funeral profession, retail outlet, contact us to learn how you can bring this into your organization.

PRAISE

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The Kindness of Others

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    A. Shackman, Los Angeles
    Claire not only helped me through an difficult time but also helped me make an incredibly decision by offering me tremendous comfort and practical advise. I can’t imagine how I would have coped without her.
    marglit
    Margalit Ward
    Claire has the amazing gift of being with others so they feel heard, safe, and supported. Her strength of walking others gently through the healing process of grief is profound and inspiring. I always feel uplifted from being with her, and I appreciate the encouragement and transformation that takes place in her presence. Claire is both highly intuitive and truly brilliant at what she does, which makes her very effective and empowering as a grief counselor and educator. I recommend Claire as an expert for anyone who is going through a difficult loss or transition (now or in the past). -Margalit Ward- Los Angeles, CA
    kim
    Kim McDonald
    I lost my beloved Siberian Husky, at the age of 13 to dementia. I had to put him down when his mental and physical health were no longer giving him a quality of life. Claire was brought into my life by viewing a page on my friend’s Facebook profile. I was searching for someone to help me get through this difficult time in my life. I felt that even though so many people expressed their condolences, I was still hurting deeply inside. I felt alone and depressed. I worked with Claire not only on the loss of Kodi, but many other losses in my life as well (Loss of my mother and father, and losses at work). I learned a great deal after working with Claire, not only about myself, but about how the loss of a loved one, whether it be a human or pet, can affect the way we function in our daily lifes. Claire helped me to recognize my strengths and we worked on healing my grief. I would like to thank you, Claire, for helping me to cross that bridge that so many people are afraid to face. I am a wiser soul since working with you. You have touched my life and I will always be grateful for your gift of helping people. With Much Love and Respect, -K. McDonald – Las Vegas, NV
    jennie
    J. Clemons
    Before beginning to seek counseling with Claire, I was paralyzed with complete hopelessness and at a total loss as to how to move forward in the face of such unspeakable tragedy.  Having surrendered three of my precious babies before ever having the opportunity to hold them in my arms, I didn’t know what was worse:  to risk another devasting loss or begin to fathom the idea of never carrying a child to term.  I knew that I needed help, so I scoured the internet for counselors, coaches and therapists who specialized in this type of loss.  I spoke with many of them by phone, but Claire immediately stood out.  Both my husband and I were struck by the genuine ethic of care and evident commitment to getting me the support I needed, whether or not I ultimately became a client.  So with that, I began seeing Claire with a seemingly unrealistic goal of evolving into a more balanced, peaceful individual who was prepared both physically and mentally to be a mom.  I quickly got the sense that Claire took a wrap-around approach, with regular email check-ins and recommendations of resources and strategies that I could implement independently. The shift was palpable, and I was able to unclench my fists and take things one day at time, knowing that someone else was carefully walking with me in my journey.  At the end of a short 3 months, I had actually attained my ambitious goal and felt so much healthier.  Most significantly, I was 7 weeks pregnant with a healthy, beautiful baby girl!  As I anxiously await the arrival of my daughter, I know that I am that much better prepared to be the kind of mother that she deserves.  Thank you Claire for helping me to discover this version of myself. -J. Clemons-Los Angeles, CA
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    Cheri Wynne
    Claire was heaven sent . I had 3 dogs before I knew her and I was down to the last one of my tribe when I met Claire. I am a psychic intuitive coach, and I am very particular who I share my private life with and very selective who helps me to heal when I get loaded up. When I met Claire, I had Jersey and I knew I would have to face my biggest fear of putting my baby to sleep, I can see the other side, I know where they go it’s absolutely stunning, but saying goodbye isn’t easy by a long stretch. One evening he started screaming in massive pain with his back and I turned to Claire. I was on speed dial with her as I knew the end was near and I had to let go as I couldn’t let him suffer. Claire was on the phone with me the entire time I needed her as I had to say goodbye to my lil guy. She communicated with him, and helped me see the things I was holding onto, and what Jersey had taken on for me. It made the transition for Jersey and I the easiest it could possibly be and I had to know this experience for my own growth. Claire has been a gift to me, she is truly gifted with her intuition, helping give Jersey a voice at a time I needed most.  ~Cheri Wynne, Psychic Intuitive Coach~
    Hannah
    Hannah Pasquino
    Thank you Claire! I received the guidance I was seeking and MORE.  You were able to laser in on exactly what the underlying issue was, the part that I was having a hard time seeing on my own. I came away from our session with more clarity and a deeper understanding of what I could focus on to move forward and experience more happiness in my life. My expectations were exceeded in the way that you could so quickly identify the root of the problem and move, too, into actionable steps I could take to make rapid improvements. Whew! -Hannah Pasquinzo- Fayetteville, Arkansas
    Williesha
    Williesha Morris
    Claire isn’t just a grief counselor. She is an accountability partner to help you get through your day. She’s not simply there to talk about your emotions or your past. She utilizes those emotions into actionable steps you can take to get you back to balance. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, but she isn’t just for people who have lost a loved one. She helped me realize the changes I’ve made in my life were forms of loss. That was huge for me and it made me better understand why I have been feeling the way I do. Her positive attitude is also a godsend. ~Williesha Morris~
    apryl
    Apryl Lundsten
    Claire is amazing! I feel blessed to have been led to her and don’t know how I would have gotten through my grief process without her intuitive encouragement. She’s incredibly understanding, inspiring, loving and comforting. She gets that grieving comes in many different shapes, sizes and timeframes and that none are right or wrong. She’s helped me move on with my life and even open up to falling in love again. I cannot thank or recommend her enough. She’s been a gift to me over this very difficult time. A. Lundsten, Los Angeles, CA
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    Zita Sayles
    I recently lost my daughter, she was just 19 days old. Such a horribly difficult time, nothing can really help or make you feel better, the pain is there no matter what. Claire helped me see there are ways to deal with the raw emotions, to move through unique stages of grief, to be more accepting, kinder and gentler on yourself.  She helped me feel a little more in control and a little less lost.  Focusing on the importance of a balanced mind body and soul, I was able to begin my healing process and start to prepare for my future. Through her sensitivity, unique outlook, wisdom and spirituality not only was I able to feel better, I was also able to feel a little closer and more connected to my daughter. Z. Sayles. Los Angeles, CA.

Don’t be cheap with your love

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Hello beautiful souls,

Immersed in the world of creating life after loss, I know both professionally and personally how challenging the journey of change can. This is especially true when we want something to change (um, yesterday please). It doesn’t matter if we are moving through grief, trying to release weight, create a new habit, if we could, we would like the “results” of our efforts now please. But when we don’t allow the room for something to percolate, we might just end up judging everything and everyone.

This has been on my mind lately, the word “process”.
To allow. To percolate. To be with.

What does the word “process” mean to you?
For me, it means surrendering and relinquishing judgment.
We live in a constant cycle of judging, judging something is good or bad, right or wrong, pretty or ugly, etc.
We label everything. Without meaning to.

What have I discovered. I am not immune to judgment. No one is.
Even as someone on a spiritual path, I am guilty of the undercurrent of labeling.
Below are a few things I am trying to put into practice. I share them with you this week with love.

THREE WAYS OF ALLOWING PROCESS DURING TIMES OF CHANGE

1. Don’t be cheap with your love; The best thing I can do for myself and others when experiencing change is to allow ourselves to have the dignity of our process. Seeing that everything in life is a work in PROGRESS.  Just as it takes time for a caterpillar to change into a beautiful butterfly, it takes nurturing and gestation for things to shift and expand.  In the past, a knee jerk reaction of mine has been to protect myself from future hurts by putting the karate chop on my love. I keep it close to my heart. Now, I see that this hurts not only the people I am with holding from, it also hurts me.  When I feel scared, frustrated, angry, or hurt, I remind myself to not withhold love from myself or others.

2. Allow others in your life to have their own experience; Instead of butting my head up against the wall, wishing something/someone was different, surrender. Especially when you do not agree or approve of someone’s behavior. You can be available to the person if they ASK for help, and when they don’t, allow them to have their own process without interfering. My mentor once said, when you are trying to fix, you are creating karma.  It is also the ego self trying to “control” a situation (and often one we may not like).

3. Uninvite yourself to the pity party;  Yes, we all have those days. The “why me”, “why them?” “How unfair this feels!” popping up. We feel sorry for someone’s plight and try to fix their pain. Even when we do it with good intentions, we are judging someone else’s process, as the layer below that, there is something we are not approving of.

I am witnessing this firsthand in my own life this week. I might be stirring up a pot here by saying this, but I actually think it takes a great deal of courage to love someone in spite of the very human experiences they are having. To love without trying to change, trying to fix, or see your point of view.

To love without negotiating. Without witholding when we feel hurt. To love. No matter what.
This is one of the things I’ve learned from my rescue pups. They are one of my greatest teachers. They love fiercely, even when they’ve been abandoned or hurt before.

I’d love to hear from you below the ways in which you love when you are feeling upset or vulnerable. 

ps- This is dedicated to my first pup and greatest teacher Sophie Chew, who gave me the greatest gift of unconditional love 20 years ago.

7 Comments

  1. Sabrina Bolin   April 8, 2014 8:08 pm / Reply

    YES. I absolutely agree that love can become more powerful when it’s not as easy to do so.

    One of the ways I love when I’m feeling vulnerable to is to respect my need for solitude versus connection. Sometimes I genuinely want to reach out but other times there is a beauty to allowing myself the space to process it alone. Rather than getting stuck in one way of being, love reminds me that this too can change!

  2. Anne Omland   April 8, 2014 10:32 pm / Reply

    What a beautiful article! I think it takes real courage to love others in this way. Number 2 is a great reminder for me- instead of trying to fix or change someone going through their process, it can be most helpful to let them know you’re there without trying to control the situation.Thank you for sharing this! x

  3. Krystal Bernier   April 8, 2014 11:15 pm / Reply

    You are so right, love is where it’s at. My husband always teases me that if he locked me in one car trunk and our dog in another car trunk for a day he would open the dogs trunk first. Because she would be so happy to be let out she would lick him and love him to death. I on the other hand, would not be so thrilled – lol. Your 3 ways of allowing process during times of change are so helpful and I plan to put them to good use. Thank you for this!

  4. Elise   April 9, 2014 12:00 am / Reply

    Thank you for this post! I have learned so much from my pups, too, so your message really resonated. I lost two dogs last year to cancer, and some of my biggest life lessons about love & letting go came from my furry family members. I LOVE your three ways to process during times of change. Of course, it’s easier said than done. We just need to remember when we are going through it…

  5. lily   April 9, 2014 12:29 am / Reply

    Great post. I find offering gratitude when I’m feeling upset always gets me through difficult times. For friends or family who are hurting, simply listening without throwing in unsolicited advice can be very healing.

  6. Sam   April 9, 2014 11:23 pm / Reply

    I love the comment about allowing others to have their own experience. That’s so important, to just let people be and let yourself be as well.

  7. Elizabeth Cronise McLaughlin   April 10, 2014 12:28 am / Reply

    Such a brilliant post! I struggle all the time (especially with my husband– LOL) with the surrender instead of try-to-change dynamic. Thanks so much for the reminder that acceptance and surrender matters. XOXO

Feel it so you can heal it!

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Today, I want to speak to my alter ego that’s been crowding my space. I call her Tough Tammy. Tough Tammy is type A and a go-getter. She is all about making it happen. Especially when she is grieving, she likes to keep busy. It helps her keep the lid on her emotions. I wrote this love note to her, and the bit of Tough Tammy that may be in each of us.
——————-
Hello beautiful,
You are so kind, loving, caring.
You hear this from others.
But sometimes you have a hard time drinking it in.

You put others before you, giving, validating.
You intellectually know your worthiness, your power.
But when it comes to affairs of the heart, you sometimes put yourself in the back of the line.

Who dimmed your light?
Stop submerging yourself in the bustle of work, life and things.

Outwardly, you look fine.
Inside, there are judgments, unresolved hurts, perhaps even anger.
Waiting to be unearthed.

How much time has to pass before you finally get to live life for YOU?
It’s time to step to the front of the line.
——————-
What does stepping in front of the line means for Tough Tammy?
Self-care. Putting herself first.
Not bypassing her emotions.
When she FEELS IT, she can HEAL IT.
It means stop doing for others and put the focus back on herself. Below are some self-care tips I wrote for her.

10 practical self-care tips on FEEL IT SO YOU CAN HEAL IT!

-Acknowledge any and all feelings that may be present; the anger, sadness, pain.
-Give yourself permission to express it (Some creative ways: throw eggs against a wall outside, then hose it off. Create a safe space outside, break some plates. Yell. Scream. Jump up and down.)
-Tell the truth. Chances are, there is some negative thoughts running around. Give it room to move through. Journal. Cry. Yell. Write it all down and get it all out.
-Stop the to-do list. Do only absolutely what is necessary, then insert something nurturing and fun if you are up to it.
-Leave the dishes in the sink.  Don’t get caught up in mindless busywork like laundry or deleting junk e-mails.
-Stay present to WHAT IT IS you are feeling.
-Weather permitting, get outside into nature. Being with nature is grounding. (when we are grieving, we can feel scattered)
-Stop with the “I am too busy, too tired, too exhausted, too sad, too (you get the picture)
-There is never a more perfect time than NOW.
-Find a mantra that acknowledges where you are, right here, right now. And that is good enough. (Example: I choose ME. I am. I am enough. I am supported.)

Since I am all about “walking the talk” I couldn’t resist heading out to the shipping office to practice #2.

egg

I’d love to hear below what self-care tips you use to soothe your Tough Tammy below.