MY JOURNEY

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Are you here because you’ve recently experienced loss of some sort?  Does it feel like something is missing? Chances are, the hole in your heart is connected not just this loss, but to other disappointments in the past.

Below is my story. I humbly share this with you as a way of connecting the dots and in showing how I healed, you can too.

My first memory of loss, age 7.

When I was seven, our family moved to San Francisco from Hong Kong. My parents told me we were going on “vacation”. I never got to say goodbye to friends, family.

Growing up the black sheep in a strict Asian household where it was better if you were seen and not heard was not easy. Emotions were discouraged.  Physical punishment and verbal abuse delivered “for our own good”. My father yelled. My mother used prescription drugs to medicate her pain. As the youngest, I became the container of my mother’s unhappiness. Her mantra was “In the end, you will end up alone.”

I got a 4.3 in high school. College was my ticket out until I was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. I returned home after one semester of college freedom. I beat the 80% odds but found myself without a roadmap of how to be cancer free and happy. I spent the next few decades living a goal-oriented life. I made six-figures in the corporate world, life looked great on paper, but inside, I felt EMPTY. I was sinking.

Searching to fill the void, I got married. Our marriage looked great on paper too; a house, a dog, a white picket fence. We survived 9/11 but got lost in the grief of a mother’s death. A few months later, my dog Sophie died unexpectedly.

Sophie was the catalyst that made me look at all of my losses.

Sophie was more than a mere companion, she was my confidant, friend, family. She was my first experience with unconditional love. Grieving deeply, I walked away from it all. My parents and friends thought I was CRAZY. Grieving, I created a company called Luxepets, to celebrate the bond between people and pets and later, to heal from the loss of a pet.

Internally, I began on a spiritual quest to find my way back to happiness.

A voice kept saying, “Do your grieving, heal, teach.” I answered the call, receiving training in several highly effective therapies and completed a Masters Degree in Applied Psychology.

In doing all of this work, I felt freedom and possibilities for the first time in my life. I had finally released and let go of decades of loss. I finally had a grasp of how to be happy.

“Technique is what you use until the therapist arrives. Good methods can help a therapist find a way into the client’s dilemma, but good therapy does not begin until the real-life therapist joins with the real life of the client.” ~Parker Palmer

My personal loss experiences helps me connect with my clients on a deep authentic level, beyond what is taught from textbooks.  It has given me gifts in many ways. In letting go of my “loss” stories and giving birth to new ways of being,  it has freed me to step up and help others.

In 2007, after being told I should have saved my eggs from having had cancer, I overcame infertility to conceive naturally.

The same week I found out I was pregnant, my mother committed suicide. 9 months later, my daughter began having life threatening seizures. A year later, a turbulent marriage came to completion.

I could have judged myself as a failure.

I spoke to my mother only a few days before her death. The autopsy report revealed a handful of pills and alcohol.  Why didn’t I see the warning signs?

Instead, I forgave my mother, a broken marriage, and most importantly, myself.

I put aside all of the stories I had made up about being unworthy, broken, a failure.  I used the tools I teach to re-build my life.

Today, I assist others in healing and looking at possibilities after loss. I blend my intuition with practical coaching tools to help you get out of your way so that you can move towards the light and fly.  

Will you join me in looking at what possibilities are in front of you?

PRAISE

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The Kindness of Others

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  • anne
    A. Shackman, Los Angeles
    Claire not only helped me through an difficult time but also helped me make an incredibly decision by offering me tremendous comfort and practical advise. I can’t imagine how I would have coped without her.
    marglit
    Margalit Ward
    Claire has the amazing gift of being with others so they feel heard, safe, and supported. Her strength of walking others gently through the healing process of grief is profound and inspiring. I always feel uplifted from being with her, and I appreciate the encouragement and transformation that takes place in her presence. Claire is both highly intuitive and truly brilliant at what she does, which makes her very effective and empowering as a grief counselor and educator. I recommend Claire as an expert for anyone who is going through a difficult loss or transition (now or in the past). -Margalit Ward- Los Angeles, CA
    kim
    Kim McDonald
    I lost my beloved Siberian Husky, at the age of 13 to dementia. I had to put him down when his mental and physical health were no longer giving him a quality of life. Claire was brought into my life by viewing a page on my friend’s Facebook profile. I was searching for someone to help me get through this difficult time in my life. I felt that even though so many people expressed their condolences, I was still hurting deeply inside. I felt alone and depressed. I worked with Claire not only on the loss of Kodi, but many other losses in my life as well (Loss of my mother and father, and losses at work). I learned a great deal after working with Claire, not only about myself, but about how the loss of a loved one, whether it be a human or pet, can affect the way we function in our daily lifes. Claire helped me to recognize my strengths and we worked on healing my grief. I would like to thank you, Claire, for helping me to cross that bridge that so many people are afraid to face. I am a wiser soul since working with you. You have touched my life and I will always be grateful for your gift of helping people. With Much Love and Respect, -K. McDonald – Las Vegas, NV
    jennie
    J. Clemons
    Before beginning to seek counseling with Claire, I was paralyzed with complete hopelessness and at a total loss as to how to move forward in the face of such unspeakable tragedy.  Having surrendered three of my precious babies before ever having the opportunity to hold them in my arms, I didn’t know what was worse:  to risk another devasting loss or begin to fathom the idea of never carrying a child to term.  I knew that I needed help, so I scoured the internet for counselors, coaches and therapists who specialized in this type of loss.  I spoke with many of them by phone, but Claire immediately stood out.  Both my husband and I were struck by the genuine ethic of care and evident commitment to getting me the support I needed, whether or not I ultimately became a client.  So with that, I began seeing Claire with a seemingly unrealistic goal of evolving into a more balanced, peaceful individual who was prepared both physically and mentally to be a mom.  I quickly got the sense that Claire took a wrap-around approach, with regular email check-ins and recommendations of resources and strategies that I could implement independently. The shift was palpable, and I was able to unclench my fists and take things one day at time, knowing that someone else was carefully walking with me in my journey.  At the end of a short 3 months, I had actually attained my ambitious goal and felt so much healthier.  Most significantly, I was 7 weeks pregnant with a healthy, beautiful baby girl!  As I anxiously await the arrival of my daughter, I know that I am that much better prepared to be the kind of mother that she deserves.  Thank you Claire for helping me to discover this version of myself. -J. Clemons-Los Angeles, CA
    cheron
    Cheri Wynne
    Claire was heaven sent . I had 3 dogs before I knew her and I was down to the last one of my tribe when I met Claire. I am a psychic intuitive coach, and I am very particular who I share my private life with and very selective who helps me to heal when I get loaded up. When I met Claire, I had Jersey and I knew I would have to face my biggest fear of putting my baby to sleep, I can see the other side, I know where they go it’s absolutely stunning, but saying goodbye isn’t easy by a long stretch. One evening he started screaming in massive pain with his back and I turned to Claire. I was on speed dial with her as I knew the end was near and I had to let go as I couldn’t let him suffer. Claire was on the phone with me the entire time I needed her as I had to say goodbye to my lil guy. She communicated with him, and helped me see the things I was holding onto, and what Jersey had taken on for me. It made the transition for Jersey and I the easiest it could possibly be and I had to know this experience for my own growth. Claire has been a gift to me, she is truly gifted with her intuition, helping give Jersey a voice at a time I needed most.  ~Cheri Wynne, Psychic Intuitive Coach~
    Hannah
    Hannah Pasquino
    Thank you Claire! I received the guidance I was seeking and MORE.  You were able to laser in on exactly what the underlying issue was, the part that I was having a hard time seeing on my own. I came away from our session with more clarity and a deeper understanding of what I could focus on to move forward and experience more happiness in my life. My expectations were exceeded in the way that you could so quickly identify the root of the problem and move, too, into actionable steps I could take to make rapid improvements. Whew! -Hannah Pasquinzo- Fayetteville, Arkansas
    Williesha
    Williesha Morris
    Claire isn’t just a grief counselor. She is an accountability partner to help you get through your day. She’s not simply there to talk about your emotions or your past. She utilizes those emotions into actionable steps you can take to get you back to balance. I’ve never lost anyone close to me, but she isn’t just for people who have lost a loved one. She helped me realize the changes I’ve made in my life were forms of loss. That was huge for me and it made me better understand why I have been feeling the way I do. Her positive attitude is also a godsend. ~Williesha Morris~
    apryl
    Apryl Lundsten
    Claire is amazing! I feel blessed to have been led to her and don’t know how I would have gotten through my grief process without her intuitive encouragement. She’s incredibly understanding, inspiring, loving and comforting. She gets that grieving comes in many different shapes, sizes and timeframes and that none are right or wrong. She’s helped me move on with my life and even open up to falling in love again. I cannot thank or recommend her enough. She’s been a gift to me over this very difficult time. A. Lundsten, Los Angeles, CA
    zita1-200x300-1
    Zita Sayles
    I recently lost my daughter, she was just 19 days old. Such a horribly difficult time, nothing can really help or make you feel better, the pain is there no matter what. Claire helped me see there are ways to deal with the raw emotions, to move through unique stages of grief, to be more accepting, kinder and gentler on yourself.  She helped me feel a little more in control and a little less lost.  Focusing on the importance of a balanced mind body and soul, I was able to begin my healing process and start to prepare for my future. Through her sensitivity, unique outlook, wisdom and spirituality not only was I able to feel better, I was also able to feel a little closer and more connected to my daughter. Z. Sayles. Los Angeles, CA.